Bell Family Company

Partner

The Mental Load of Managing Childcare (On Top of Everything Else)

By Olivia Bergeron, LCSW, PMH-C

It’s 9 p.m. and the apartment is finally quiet. The kids are sleeping and as usual, you’re still on your phone working. And stressing. You’re texting to confirm tomorrow’s pick up, while formulating a backup plan in case your child with the runny nose wakes up sick. Here’s what’s surprising about childcare: the hardest part often isn’t the childcare itself. It’s being the one who coordinates all of it.

The constant anticipating that goes unseen has a name: mental load. For every task and chore, someone has to quarterback the action, and childcare is no different. Even when you get help taking care of a task, chances are, you’re still the one who plans how to do it.

Finding childcare, scheduling it, communicating and preparing for when things go sideways are activities that happen mostly in your head. No wonder you’re exhausted. 

Five Hidden Pieces of the Childcare Mental Load

  1. The scheduling puzzle. Work, school, activities, and last-minute changes all require planning and coordination. You are most often the one making decisions and figuring out next steps when someone gets sick or the weather doesn’t cooperate. 
  2. The backup plan. Sick days, school closures, and a caregiver running late all need a plan B worked out ahead of time.
  3. The communication web. You are the point person, coordinating with partners, caregivers, and schools, so that everyone has the same information.
  4. The remembering. Food preferences, allergies, daily routines, permission slips reside only in your head, and you keep constant track trying not to forget something of importance.
  5. The emotional layer. Underneath all the busyness of logistics lies a deeper question: “Am I doing this right?” 

Why It Wears You Down

When you have to constantly keep track of all the big and small details of family life, you become accustomed to living in a state of continual high alert. It becomes challenging to rest and turn your brain off, even when given the chance. The result? Irritability, followed by guilt. Feeling like you’re drowning.

As a therapist, I want you to hear this clearly: this is an understandable response to an overloaded, overwhelming time, not a sign that you are failing.

Ways to Lighten It

–Get it out of your head. Shared calendars or a nightly ten-minute check-in can help spread the load.
–Share ownership, not just tasks. One person should own the task, without relying upon the other person to think over the logistics. 
–Set up backup coverage before you need it. A plan made on a calm day works better than one made at 6 a.m. with a sick child.
–Bring in a trusted childcare partner. Someone who handles the matching and the logistics, like the team at Bell Family Company!

No one sees how hard you’re working. Taking on all that you do would be a lot for anyone to handle. You are not bad at this. And, importantly, asking for support is not giving up your role as a parent. It is the best way to make space to enjoy it.

So here is a question to take with you: what is one thing you are handling that someone else could take over? That is a good place to start.

Olivia Bergeron, LCSW, PMH-C, is a licensed perinatal psychotherapist and parent coach and the founder of Mommy Groove Therapy & Parent Coaching. Her free Stop, Soften, See resource is a quick way to find calm in a stressful moment: rebrand.ly/S_S_S.

Health

Signs Your Pelvic Floor Might Need Some Attention With The Lifted Lotus

You know your body better than anyone. You notice when something feels off, even if you can’t quite name it: a twinge in your back, a heaviness in your pelvis, a pattern that’s crept in slowly enough that you’ve started to explain it away.

Here’s the thing about the pelvic floor: it’s easy to ignore until it isn’t. So many of its symptoms get quietly normalized. “That’s just what happens after kids.” “That’s just getting older.” “That’s just stress.” A lot of people live with pelvic floor dysfunction for years before anyone tells them there’s another option.

There’s no magic device or quick fix here, and I’m not going to pretend there is. But there is a path for healing, and it starts with recognizing what your body has been trying to tell you. As an occupational therapy-led clinic, The Lifted Lotus provides whole-person pelvic floor care every single day. Let’s talk about five of the most common signs that your pelvic floor could use some attention, and why each one deserves more than a shrug.

1. Back Pain

Low back pain sends people to physical therapists, chiropractors, and orthopedists all the time, and rightfully so. But the pelvic floor is part of your deep core system, working in coordination with your diaphragm, your abdominal wall, and your deep spinal stabilizers. When one part of that system isn’t pulling its weight, the others compensate, often the low back.

If you’ve been treating back pain for a while without lasting relief, it’s worth asking whether anyone has actually looked at the whole system. Back pain isn’t only about the spine in isolation. It’s about how your breath, your core, and your pelvic floor are working together, or not, to support you through your day. This is especially common postpartum, after abdominal or pelvic surgery, or after long stretches of high stress where breathing patterns shift and core coordination quietly falls apart.

2. Leaking

Leaking urine when you laugh, sneeze, cough, jump, or run is so common that it’s become a punchline. It’s the kind of thing people joke about at baby showers or brush off as a “normal” symptom of having a baby or simply aging. I understand why the humor exists. Naming something absurd can feel like the only way to survive it.

But leaking isn’t something you have to accept as your new normal, and it’s not something you “just have to deal with.” Stress incontinence, urge incontinence, and mixed presentations are all real, diagnosable, and treatable conditions, with a clear evidence base behind pelvic floor rehabilitation as first-line care. Whether it’s happening during exercise, during everyday moments, or catching you off guard when you least expect it, it’s worth real attention, not just a pad and a shrug.

3. Pain With Intimacy

Pain during sex is common. It is not normal.

When intimacy hurts, whether it’s a sharp pain, a burning sensation, or a feeling of tightness or resistance, that’s your body sending you important information. Pay attention to it. This isn’t something you have to just get used to. The pelvic floor muscles can become overactive or hypertonic for all kinds of reasons: childbirth, surgery, chronic stress, past trauma, or years of unconsciously guarding and bracing without ever learning how to release.

What makes this one particularly hard is the silence around it. So many people carry this quietly, sometimes for years, sometimes into their relationships in ways that ripple far beyond the physical. If this is part of your story, I want you to know that pelvic floor dysfunction is one of the most common and most treatable causes of painful intimacy. And healing doesn’t just involve muscles. It’s about safety, nervous system regulation, and rebuilding trust with your own body.

4. Constipation

We don’t talk about bowel health nearly enough, and that’s a shame, because bowel function is one of the clearest windows we have into pelvic floor health.

If you’re straining, feeling like you can’t fully empty, relying on laxatives more than you’d like, or noticing that your bathroom habits have become a source of daily stress, your pelvic floor may be part of the picture. The same muscles that support continence and intimacy also need to coordinate properly to allow for a full, comfortable bowel movement. When those muscles are too tight, too weak, or poorly coordinated with your breath and your abdominal wall, constipation is often the result.

This is an area where I see people make incredible progress once they understand what’s actually happening mechanically, because so much of it comes down to learning how to work with your body instead of against it. That includes things like toileting posture, breath mechanics, and retraining the coordination between your diaphragm and pelvic floor.

5. Pelvic Pressure or Heaviness

A sensation of pressure, fullness, dragging, or heaviness in the pelvis, especially one that builds throughout the day or worsens with standing, lifting, or exercise, is one of the more unsettling symptoms people bring to me. Often that’s because it can feel vague and hard to describe, and because it can be a sign of pelvic organ prolapse.

I want to be clear: prolapse is common, and common doesn’t mean it’s something you have to live with in silence or fear. A feeling of heaviness is your body telling you that the support system down there needs some help, whether that’s from muscle weakness, connective tissue changes, or how you’re managing pressure through your core during daily movement. This is deeply treatable with the right assessment and a plan that actually addresses function, not just isolated exercises done lying on a mat.

What These Signs Have in Common

None of these five symptoms exist in isolation, and that’s really the heart of how I think about this work. Pain with intimacy, constipation, back pain, pressure, and leaking can all trace back to the same underlying system: the coordination, or lack of it, between your breath, your core, your pelvic floor, and your nervous system. That’s why a whole-body, occupation-centered approach matters so much in pelvic health. It’s never just about strengthening or stretching one muscle group. It’s about understanding how these symptoms are showing up in your daily life and affecting your engagement and quality of life. They shape your ability to work out, to parent, to sit through a workday, to feel present during intimacy, to socialize, and to trust your body again.

If you recognized yourself in one or more of these signs, I want you to hear this clearly: this is common, this is real, and this is treatable. You don’t need to wait until symptoms become unbearable to seek support, and you don’t need to have all the answers before reaching out. You just need to start paying attention to what your body has been trying to tell you, and know that there are people ready to listen when you’re ready to talk.

In Collaboration With The Lifted Lotus.

Activities

The Benefits of Art for Kids: Creative Ways to Learn, Explore & Grow

At Private Picassos, art is about so much more than making something beautiful—it’s about exploring, experimenting, and building confidence along the way. Through engaging art classes, camps, parties, and hands-on creative experiences, students of all ages are encouraged to think creatively, solve problems, express themselves, and discover their own artistic voice. With experienced art educators guiding the process, Private Picassos creates a space where mistakes are welcome, messes are part of the fun, and every student can experience the joy—and lifelong benefits—of being an artist.

Private Picassos offers art experiences designed to grow with your child. Here are three favorite ways for young artists to get creative, build confidence, and explore their imaginations—after school, at home, or alongside a grownup.

After School Art Club
Give your child a creative place to land after school! Our After School Art Club combines school pickup, extended-day care, and lots of hands-on art making in one fun, welcoming program. Kids ages 5–10 explore a new theme each month—from clay and printmaking to comics, jewelry, and art from around the world—while developing their own ideas and experimenting with different materials. With school pickup from PS 9, PS 11, PS 20, and PS 56, plus optional extended care until 6pm, it’s an easy, enriching option for busy families.

Toddler Art Class
Little artists, big imaginations! Our Toddler Art classes are designed for curious young creators to explore art through playful, age-appropriate projects and sensory experiences. Kids experiment with paint, clay, collage, drawing, and more while building confidence, practicing fine motor skills, and discovering the joy of making something all their own. Classes are relaxed, engaging, and designed to let toddlers create, explore, and get a little messy along the way—with a grownup nearby to cheer them on.

In-Home Art Classes
Bring the art studio to your doorstep! Our private in-home art classes give kids the chance to explore their creativity with personalized instruction in the comfort of home. Each lesson is tailored to your child’s interests, age, and experience, with projects ranging from painting and drawing to mixed media, sculpture, and more. Perfect for one-on-one lessons, siblings, or small groups, these classes make it easy to fit creative time into your family’s schedule while giving young artists plenty of room to experiment and grow.

At Bell Family Company, we know that childcare can be about more than just filling the hours in a busy family schedule. Enrichment activities can give children opportunities to explore their interests, try something new, and build confidence along the way.

Older kids painting at the palette at Private Picassos’ studio

Looking to hire a babysitter or nanny for your family? Do you have friends that you want to refer who love children and want to be a sitter or nanny? Learn why Bell Family is the best childcare agency in the business, with childcare providers available across the U.S. (on-demand service available in the Tri-state & Dallas areas). Contact us today!

Play/Games

5 Simple Ways Parents & Caregivers Can Build Emotional Skills Through Play

Big feelings are a part of childhood. Whether it’s frustration over losing a game, disappointment when plans change, or excitement that’s hard to contain, children are learning how to understand and navigate their emotions every day.

One of the biggest misconceptions about emotional development is that kids should simply “know” how to manage their feelings. But they don’t. Children are born with all of the feelings, but none of the skills to manage them. Those skills, like identifying emotions, calming their bodies, solving problems, and taking another person’s perspective, are learned over time through caring relationships and repeated practice.

The good news? Emotional skills don’t have to be taught through long lectures or formal lessons. Some of the most meaningful learning happens through play.

Whether you’re a parent, nanny, or babysitter, here are five simple ways to help children build emotional skills during everyday play.

1. Name emotions as they happen.

Before children can manage their emotions, they first need to recognize them. When a child is frustrated, excited, nervous, or proud, simply naming the emotion helps build emotional awareness.

You might say:

“It looks like you’re feeling disappointed that your tower fell.”

Or:

“You’re really excited for Grandma to come over!”

Over time, children build the vocabulary they need to recognize, understand, and express what they’re feeling.

2. Read stories that help kids explore big emotions.

Stories allow children to experience big feelings through relatable characters before they encounter those same situations in real life. Whether you’re reading at bedtime, during a quiet afternoon, or while babysitting for the evening, books create natural opportunities to pause, ask questions, and wonder together:

“How do you think they felt?”

“Why do you think they made that choice?”

“What would you have done?”

The Emmers Big-Hearted Resilience storybook collection was created with child development experts to help children navigate common challenges like frustration, disappointment, and perseverance through engaging stories that spark meaningful conversations.

3. Practice emotional skills through play.

We wouldn’t expect a child to learn to ride a bike without practicing. Emotional skills work the same way.

Children don’t become empathetic, resilient, or emotionally regulated simply because we tell them to. They build those skills by practicing them over and over again in safe, connected moments.

Screen-free games, pretend play, and cooperative activities give children opportunities to identify emotions, take another person’s perspective, tolerate frustration, solve problems, and celebrate others’ successes.

The Emmers Emotion Seekers board game was designed with child-development experts to make that practice fun, giving children repeated opportunities to build these skills while laughing, connecting, and asking to play another round.

4. Get curious instead of rushing to solve.

When children experience big feelings, our instinct is often to fix the problem. But emotional growth doesn’t happen because children avoid hard feelings. It happens because they learn they can move through them.

Instead of immediately offering solutions, try getting curious. You might ask:

“Hmm… what do you think you could try next?”

“What do you think would help?”

Curiosity communicates confidence. It tells children:

“I believe you can handle hard things, and I’ll help you figure it out.”

Those moments build confidence, flexible thinking, and problem-solving skills that last far beyond childhood.

5. Remember that emotional skills take time.

We don’t expect children to become fluent readers after one bedtime story or master riding a bike after one afternoon. Emotional skills develop the same way: through hundreds of small, everyday moments.

Every conversation, every game, every story, and every opportunity to work through disappointment becomes another chance to strengthen those emotional muscles.

That’s why the Ultimate Emmers Bundle pairs three Big-Hearted Resilience storybooks with the Emotion Seekers board game. The books introduce emotional concepts through relatable stories, while the game gives children repeated opportunities to practice those same skills through play.

Whether you’re a parent, nanny, babysitter, or educator, those everyday moments of connection can make a lasting difference.

At Emmers, we believe emotional skills are some of the most important skills children will ever build, and play is one of the most joyful ways to build them.

Emmers Emotion Seekers Game

Emmers is created by child development experts and founded by mom and psychology advocate Melanie Sperling Palmer. Designed to make emotional learning fun for both kids and parents, Emmers gives families practical, research-backed tools to strengthen emotional wellbeing one meaningful moment at a time. This blog is in collaboration with Melanie Palmer, Founder & CEO of Emmers.

Parenting

The Life Skills Kids Learn During a Typical Day With Their Caregiver

As childcare professionals, caregivers wear many hats throughout the day. They are teachers, role models, chauffeurs, problem-solvers, and some of the most influential adults in a child’s life. What many people don’t realize is that a typical day with children is also filled with countless opportunities to teach valuable life skills—including financial literacy.

Think about a caregiver’s daily routine. They may stop at the grocery store to pick up milk, visit a museum for an afternoon outing, or grab lunch after a morning at the park. Throughout these everyday moments, children are constantly observing how adults make decisions involving money.

But do children know how much a gallon of milk costs? Do they understand that museum tickets aren’t free? Have they ever wondered where money comes from, how people earn it, or why families choose to save it?

For many children, the answers to these questions aren’t always obvious.

Research consistently shows, like in this article from the World Economic Forum, that many money habits begin forming during childhood. When children develop an early understanding of earning, saving, spending, and giving, they are better prepared to make responsible financial decisions later in life.

“Confidence doesn’t just come from memorizing concepts. It comes from having opportunities to practice. When children are given the chance to make small decisions around earning, saving, and spending, they develop autonomy, learn from outcomes, and build confidence that carries into the real world. That’s why we built Satta. Every child deserves a safe and playful space where they can explore, make mistakes, and build healthy money habits without fear or judgment.”

Maggie Shih, Founder & CEO, Satta (financial literacy for kids)*

Most importantly, it helps children recognize that money doesn’t simply appear—it is earned through effort, planning, and responsibility.

Everyday Moments Create Powerful Lessons

Financial education doesn’t have to involve spreadsheets, budgets, or complicated conversations. Some of the most impactful money lessons happen naturally throughout the day. 

Here are natural ways caregivers can help make money conversations fun and educational.*

While out in the city:

  • When purchasing lunch, talk about comparing menu prices and ask children which choice they think offers the best value.
  • While shopping for groceries, children can help find items, compare costs, and learn that some products are more expensive than others.
  • At a museum or attraction, explain that admission fees help support the exhibits and experiences families enjoy.

While at home: 

  • Create a pretend grocery store where children can “purchase” items using play money
  • Help children save for a small toy, activity, or special outing. Watching savings grow can be incredibly rewarding.
  • Explain simple financial choices in age-appropriate ways, such as choosing between two activities or deciding whether to save money for something bigger later.

Caregivers Have a Unique Opportunity

One of the greatest advantages caregivers have is the amount of real-world learning that happens outside of a classroom. Every errand, outing, and daily activity can become a chance to teach practical life skills.

“Kids learn best by doing. That’s why creating safe opportunities to practice real-world scenarios is so powerful. When children are given the chance to make decisions, solve problems, and talk openly about money, they build confidence, independence, and healthy habits that stick with them for life. Money isn’t just knowledge; it’s behavior. And that starts early.”

Maggie Shih, Founder & CEO, Satta (financial literacy for kids)*

At the end of the day, teaching children about money isn’t really about dollars and cents. It’s about helping them understand value, make thoughtful choices, and develop skills that support independence as they grow.

*Sources: https://www.sattaworld.co/, https://www.weforum.org/stories/2026/03/money-matters-young-people-do-better/.
Note: All Bell Family Company caregivers are educated on helping children understand the value of money through simple, age-appropriate lessons integrated into daily care. 

Activities

Unplugged and Engaged: Screen-Free Activities Children Love

At Bell Family, we know that some of the most meaningful moments of childhood happen away from screens. Screen-free activities encourage children to build creativity, problem-solving skills, confidence, and social connections while supporting healthy physical and emotional development. Whether indoors on a rainy afternoon or outside exploring the world around them, hands-on play helps children stay engaged, curious, and active in ways that truly support their growth.

Below, we’re sharing a variety of fun indoor and outdoor screen-free activities for children ages 2–11 that caregivers, children, and families can enjoy together all year long!

Ages 2-5

  1. Build a fort: Create a fort or play area with couch cushions, blankets, pillows, etc. If you have an extra crib mattress or exercise mat, get these involved, too. The kids can help pile all materials together and you can put it together. 
  2. Dress up & pretend play: Put those Halloween costumes to work (more than just one day of the year). Or play pretend doctor’s office, restaurant or race car driver.
  3. Balloon volleyball: An instant classic of the “keep it up” game.
  4. Indoor picnic: Grab your snacks, spread out a blanket, and eat on the floor. Invite stuffed animals to join or for a mess free take, do a pretend tea party. 

Ages 6-8

  1. Neighborhood scavenger hunt: Create a list of things for kids to find in the neighborhood, and let them check them off (with a pen, stamp, or sticker) as they go. 
  2. Create an obstacle course: Lots of at-home items will work for this: pillows or towels to jump over, tape on the floor as a “balance beam,” etc.
  3. Puppet shows: Repurpose those giant cardboard boxes. Cut a big hole in it to create a puppet theater and use socks, paper bags, and stuffed animals to make great puppets. Arts & crafts meets a night at the theater. You can even name your puppets and give them personality. 
  4. Use a stopwatch (for so many things): It’s an instant game when you tell the child “I’ll time you.” Time how long it takes them to pick up their toys, how many jumping jacks they can do in a minute, etc.

Ages 9-11

  1. Cook together: You and the child(ren) can make a snack or sweet treat together. They can help gather or measure out ingredients, stir/mix, or washing produce is great, too. Practice following a recipe and then enjoy the fruit of your labor!
  2. Giant coloring/activity table: Cover an entire table with a roll of paper or giant coloring sheet and let them get to work. Build a scene together, play extreme tic-tac-toe, see where the creativity takes you. 
  3. Paper planes & origami: Build paper planes together and practice throwing them at a target or see who can throw theirs the farthest.

Source: Techno Sapiens

Looking to hire a babysitter or nanny for your family? Do you have friends that you want to refer who love children and want to be a sitter or nanny? Learn why Bell Family is the best childcare agency in the business, with childcare providers available across the U.S. (on-demand service available in the Tri-state & Dallas areas). Contact us today!

Uncategorized

The Ultimate Nanny Resume Template

It’s time to update your resume! It’s always good practice to keep your experience up to date. Whether you are currently looking for a job, or already signed up to babysit with us, show families your up-to-date expertise. You can copy and paste our recommended template below into a word document and plug in your personal information and experience. Email us a copy or log into your BFC profile to upload for us and families to see.

Your First and Last Name 
Email| Cell  

Summary
List a summary about yourself and your overall qualities and intentions as a childcare provider.

Skills
List the various skills that will set you a part (e.g., languages spoken, driver’s license, valid passport and willingness to travel, swimming skills, CPR/First Aid certified, experience cooking).

Experience
List specific individual families you have worked for. List the newest at the top.

(Last Name) Family, city, and state
Start month/year – End month/year worked
Babysitter? Part Time Nanny? Full Time Nanny?
Number of children and their ages when you started?
Brief summary of what you did for them.

Education & Training
Families want to know about any college you have attended. List all college that you have attended and any degrees you received or are working on.

  • What college did you attend and what degree do you have?
  • If you are currently in college, what college do you attend and what degree are you pursuing?
  • If no college, what high school did you attend and the city/state?

List any additional childcare training such as:

  • Childcare courses completed
  • Newborn care specialist training
  • Montessori training

Additional Childcare Experience
List all additional childcare experience that is NOT nannying (e.g., teaching, tutoring, camp counselor work, daycare work, work in church nursery).

Partner

How to Better Understand What Kind of Childcare Your Family Needs

A Q&A with Parent Coach Jess Baldenhofer of Mother Nurture Coaching

Choosing what type of childcare isn’t always straightforward for some families. Many families know they need support, but feel unsure about what kind of help is right — or how to make the decision with confidence.

We spoke with parent coach Jess Baldenhofer about how parents can get clear on what their family truly needs — and move forward with more ease.

Bell Family: Many families come to us knowing they need help, but unsure what kind. Why is this decision so difficult for some families?

Jess:
Because it’s not just a logistical decision — it’s emotional and relational.

Parents are often asking, “What does my child need?” but underneath that are bigger questions like what kind of parent they want to be, how much support is okay to receive, and whether someone else will do things “the right way.”

So what looks like confusion is usually a mix of pressure, guilt, and lack of clarity. Once we slow down and name those pieces, the decision becomes much clearer.

Bell Family: Where should parents start when trying to figure this out?

Jess:
Start with your actual lived experience — not an ideal.

Instead of jumping straight to “What kind of nanny do we need?”, I encourage parents to look at what’s happening in their day-to-day life. Where are you stretched too thin? What moments feel the most stressful? When are you losing patience, consistency, or connection? Those patterns give you real insight into what kind of support would actually help — rather than guessing or choosing based on what you think you should need.

Bell Family: How important is it for both parents to be aligned in this process?

Jess:
It’s essential.

If there are two parents in the home, this is a shared leadership decision. When parents aren’t aligned, it becomes very difficult to move forward clearly — and even harder to create a successful caregiver relationship later on.

I often guide parents to explore where they already agree and where they differ. That might include how they approach discipline, what emotional tone matters in the home, or what feels non-negotiable versus flexible.

You don’t have to agree on everything, but you do need enough alignment to lead your home as a team.

Bell Family: What are some key questions parents should ask themselves about the caregiver role?

Jess:
One of the most important shifts is understanding that a caregiver is not another parent — but they are also not just “coverage.”

So I help parents think clearly about both sides of that balance. What do you want to remain fully yours as parents? Where do you want to stay the primary decision-makers? And at the same time, where do you want real support, consistency, and follow-through?

Another important question is: What does it actually mean for someone to have a “way” with our child that feels good to us?

For some families, that might mean warmth and patience. For others, it might include structure, playfulness, or calm authority. Getting specific about this helps you recognize the right fit when you see it.

Bell Family: That idea of a caregiver having a “way” with your child feels important — can you say more about that?

Jess:
Yes — because this is often something parents feel but don’t fully articulate.

You’re not just hiring for skills. You’re inviting someone into your child’s emotional world.

What parents are really looking for is a sense of trust and ease — that this person can respond to their child in a way that feels aligned with their values. That might sound like: I trust how this person handles big feelings. I feel comfortable with their tone and energy. I don’t feel like I need to constantly step in or correct.

That sense of ease comes from alignment — not perfection.

Bell Family: What are some common mistakes families make when making this decision?

Jess:
A big one is focusing only on logistics — hours, duties, and schedule — without taking the time to clarify values and expectations.

Another is assuming, We’ll figure it out once someone starts. But many of the challenges families experience later — miscommunication, frustration, tension — come from not being clear upfront about how they want their child supported, what matters most in their home, and how they want to communicate.

A little more clarity at the beginning makes everything smoother down the line.

Bell Family: How can parents move from feeling stuck to actually making a decision?

Jess:
They don’t need perfect clarity — just enough clarity to move forward.

That usually comes from asking better questions, not more questions. And often, having a structured conversation with someone outside the situation helps bring that clarity much faster than trying to figure it out alone over time.

Bell Family: How do you support families in this stage?

Jess:
After a family’s initial in-take call with Bell, I offer a 30-minute Clarity Call for parents who feel unsure about what they need.

In that conversation, we look at your family dynamic, where things feel strained, and what kind of support would actually make your home feel more steady and manageable. We’re not just deciding, Do you need childcare? — we’re identifying what kind of support will truly work for your family.

From there, families are in a much stronger position to move forward with Bell Family.

Bell Family: Any final advice for families trying to figure this out?

Jess:
You don’t need to have everything figured out — but you do need to understand yourselves a bit more clearly.

When you’re clear on your values, your needs, and how you want your home to feel, the right childcare decision becomes much easier.

Bell Family Company has partnered with Jess from Mother Nurture Coaching to further support and educate our families as they start the decision-making process to hire childcare. Jess offers Bell Family Company families a complimentary 30-minute Clarity Call to help you assess your needs, gain clarity on the right level of support, and move forward with confidence.

From there, you can continue your placement process with Bell Family Company with a stronger sense of direction and a plan that truly fits your family. You can schedule your call here.

Parenting

Finding Clarity in Change: Our Founder Talks Divorce Support with Tamar Queen Barbash

We’re excited to introduce you to Tamar Queen Barbash, a DCA® Certified ADR Divorce Coach and the founder of New Beginnings Breakup and Divorce Coaching. Tamar works with people going through divorce to help them manage conflict throughout the process and remain focused on their needs and visions for the future. Read below as our Founder & Owner, Lindsay Bell, asks questions to learn more about Tamar’s goals and how she supports clients to make the best possible decisions based on their specific interests, needs, and concerns.

Q: How do we know if what we’re experiencing is a rough season or a deeper issue that needs intervention?

A: This can be a very difficult question for people to answer, but the key is getting in touch with what our own wants and needs are when it comes to marriage. To get to the bottom of this one question, we have to ask ourselves many more. What do I want to be getting from my marriage? In what ways do I want my spouse to support me, enhance my life, and be my partner? How do my marriage and my partner currently measure up to these criteria? Did they used to measure up better and it’s only recently begun to feel off or have things felt not good for a long time? It can be very hard to exist in a marriage that isn’t working, and it can be very hard to make the decision to leave. We have to figure out which hard can be the conduit to something better and more fulfilling.

Q: What mistakes do parents often make when deciding “for the kids,” and how can we avoid them?

A: Children need adults in their lives who behave like adults. Children need to feel safe, so the worst thing for children is adults who engage in toxic behaviors while their kids are observing and getting caught in the middle. But this behavior is not unique to divorce. Many married couples exist in homes with significant dysfunction. Keeping a toxic environment intact so that kids can avoid experiencing divorce is not actually helping children. Removing them from the dysfunction and committing to prioritizing them is always going to be in their best interest.

Divorce does not, in and of itself, harm children. And staying together is not, in and of itself, better for children. The key is always going to be the adults, in all situations, making sure that the needs of the children are prioritized and that their exposure to toxic behavior is minimized.  

Q: How can we talk to our children about relationship challenges without burdening them?

A: There is very little reason to talk to children about relationship challenges, unless a decision to separate or divorce has been made. At that point, a united message is best and it should focus on the facts of what is happening, not the details of the relationship or the cause of the split. What is most important is that children understand that they are loved and that the relationship between their parents is completely separate from the relationship their parents have with them. It’s also crucial to avoid bad-mouthing your child’s other parent to your child, no matter how badly you feel it’s warranted.

Q: How can we reduce conflict in front of our kids even if we’re struggling privately?

A: Working with a divorce coach is an incredibly effective way to avoid escalating conflict. It will give you an opportunity to talk through your frustrations, begin to recognize your conflict styles, and strategize about the best ways to reduce conflict when things get difficult.

The key here is being intentional about your actions and comments, and not reacting instinctively and emotionally every time your buttons get pushed. Recognizing when you’re starting to feel triggered is an important skill to try and develop. Having a quick phrase that you use with your spouse when you begin to feel yourself losing control is a great way to reduce conflict, especially when children are present. Something like “It doesn’t feel like we’re going to have a productive conversation about this right now. Let’s table it until later.” This gives you time to consider the topic at hand, decide how you want to respond intentionally and strategically, and ends the potentially unpleasant exchange.

Q: What does success look like for families who work through this thoughtfully?

A: The great thing about this is that it’s entirely up to us. We get to decide what success looks like for us. People think of divorce as an ending, which it is, but it is also the beginning of a new dynamic that we get to build. It’s new, and it’s not the life we envisioned. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be great.

Successful divorce looks different for everyone. But if we can focus on accepting the new reality and making intentional choices to make our lives what we want them to be, then the possibilities are endless.

There is always going to be grief and loss associated with divorce. But loss gives way to new opportunities. And we get to decide what those new opportunities look like for ourselves and for our kids.

Looking to hire a babysitter or nanny for your family? Do you have friends that you want to refer who love children and want to be a sitter or nanny? Learn why Bell Family is the best childcare agency in the business, with childcare providers available across the U.S. (on-demand service available in the Tri-state & Dallas areas). Contact us today!

Childcare

What Is FSA and How Can It Be Used for Childcare?

Did you know you can get reimbursed for your BFC membership and the BFC nanny placement fees under your FSA (Sometimes called a Dependent Care Assistance Plan (DCAP))?

Ask your employer if they offer FSA. If they do, ask for the form to fill in. Email the completed form to BFC and we will sign, attach a letter and invoice with the amount. Then you will need to submit the completed paperwork back to your employer. That’s it!

What is a FSA?

Some U.S. employers offer their employees a flexible spending account (FSA) or sometimes known as a Dependent Care Assistance Plan (DCAP). This is an employer-sponsored plan that allows you to set aside a portion of your income on a pre-tax basis and then use that money to pay for eligible, employment-related dependent care expenses incurred for a qualifying individual. 

What is the advantage of participating in a dependent care FSA?

Your contributions to these accounts are tax-free, saving you money on federal, state income taxes and Social Security taxes. These FSAs can help you save money on healthcare and dependent care expenses such as childcare.

Ask your employer how much they will reimburse towards your FSA before you begin. Ask if there is a use it or lose it policy. Many FSA expire by the end of the year, even more reason to use those funds now towards childcare! BFC does not guarantee reimbursements, all reimbursements are determined by an employer.

Dependent Care FSA Information

Looking to hire a babysitter or nanny for your family? Do you have friends that you want to refer who love children and want to be a sitter or nanny? Learn why Bell Family is the best childcare agency in the business, with childcare providers available across the U.S. (on-demand service available in the Tri-state & Dallas areas). Contact us today!