In this day in age many families are what they call a “shared family” meaning that both parents work full time and share equal responsibility in caring for their children. Working women with families are frequently asked, “how do you balance family and work” yet rarely are the men asked that same question. At the Elle Women in Hollywood event Jennifer Gardner touched on the subject. She stated that her and her husband (Ben Affleck) “do the same job, a little bit”, while she is asked over and over again how she balances her family and work, Ben has never been asked once. She thinks it is time to change the conversation, and so do we! Here at Bell Family we are seeing more and more dads take initiative with their families scheduling, and everyday childcare needs. We want to shine the light on the dads who do it all. So we asked them “how do you balance being a husband, dad & working full time”?
And here were some results!
From Dad of 2 (5yrs & 3yrs old), married for 7 years said:
It’s certainly isn’t easy & I haven’t been perfect at it, but I do the best I can. I do what I have to do to provide for my family because that is my #1 responsibility. Having a great support system helps. It’s about being reliable. Time management is important & fortunately I feel that is a strength of mine. I try to savior & enjoy the little things. Going above & beyond goes a long way. Be thoughtful to my wife. Be conscience of other’s wants & needs. I try to take some time to myself to do something I enjoy too.
From Dad of 1 (6 mo old), married for 2 years said:
I balance being a husband and father, and having a full-time job, by letting go of any kind of fixed routine that I had in my previous life. Being open to spending time with my wife and son as those opportunities present themselves is key – even if those times are when I have a million other things I think I need to do. Having open communications with my employer about outside of work commitments is critical as well. I find that I sometimes have to catch up on work when everyone else is sleeping, and that is okay, particularly if that means I can spend quality time with the family and not be distracted by work.
From Dad of 5 (31, 30, 29, 27 & 23), married for 35 years said:
It’s hard to believe how many less responsibilities I have now. I seem busy 24/7 being 60 years old, I don’t know I managed it when my kids were growing up. A professor of mine once told me ‘You skin your own skunks’. Meaning if you have problems, handle them yourself. Don’t complain about it, just work it out. Nobody wants a whiner. So that’s what I did. It was really hard, but I just took care of it and did what I had to do. My wife and I didn’t have enough time to even think about going out or vacations. When we had a second it was really enjoyable just relaxing at home. I know I had one an advantage, all my family was under the same roof at night and during the day (as my wife and I taught at our kids school). So that made pick-up/drop-offs from school and practices and seeing the kids a lot much easier.
And finally, one of our dad’s provided us with this quote. From Dad of 2 (3yrs & 15 mo), married for 5 years
“A master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between their work and their play; their labor and their leisure; their mind and their body; their education and their recreation. They hardly know which is which. They simply pursue their vision of excellence through whatever they are doing, and leave others to determine whether they are working or playing. To themselves, they always appear to be doing both.”
~ Francoise Rene Auguste Chateaubriand
Articles referenced (http://www.citydadsgroup.com/blog/ben-affleck-jennifer-garner-work-life-balance-sexism/)