Tag Archives: self care

Health

Signs Your Pelvic Floor Might Need Some Attention With The Lifted Lotus

You know your body better than anyone. You notice when something feels off, even if you can’t quite name it: a twinge in your back, a heaviness in your pelvis, a pattern that’s crept in slowly enough that you’ve started to explain it away.

Here’s the thing about the pelvic floor: it’s easy to ignore until it isn’t. So many of its symptoms get quietly normalized. “That’s just what happens after kids.” “That’s just getting older.” “That’s just stress.” A lot of people live with pelvic floor dysfunction for years before anyone tells them there’s another option.

There’s no magic device or quick fix here, and I’m not going to pretend there is. But there is a path for healing, and it starts with recognizing what your body has been trying to tell you. As an occupational therapy-led clinic, The Lifted Lotus provides whole-person pelvic floor care every single day. Let’s talk about five of the most common signs that your pelvic floor could use some attention, and why each one deserves more than a shrug.

1. Back Pain

Low back pain sends people to physical therapists, chiropractors, and orthopedists all the time, and rightfully so. But the pelvic floor is part of your deep core system, working in coordination with your diaphragm, your abdominal wall, and your deep spinal stabilizers. When one part of that system isn’t pulling its weight, the others compensate, often the low back.

If you’ve been treating back pain for a while without lasting relief, it’s worth asking whether anyone has actually looked at the whole system. Back pain isn’t only about the spine in isolation. It’s about how your breath, your core, and your pelvic floor are working together, or not, to support you through your day. This is especially common postpartum, after abdominal or pelvic surgery, or after long stretches of high stress where breathing patterns shift and core coordination quietly falls apart.

2. Leaking

Leaking urine when you laugh, sneeze, cough, jump, or run is so common that it’s become a punchline. It’s the kind of thing people joke about at baby showers or brush off as a “normal” symptom of having a baby or simply aging. I understand why the humor exists. Naming something absurd can feel like the only way to survive it.

But leaking isn’t something you have to accept as your new normal, and it’s not something you “just have to deal with.” Stress incontinence, urge incontinence, and mixed presentations are all real, diagnosable, and treatable conditions, with a clear evidence base behind pelvic floor rehabilitation as first-line care. Whether it’s happening during exercise, during everyday moments, or catching you off guard when you least expect it, it’s worth real attention, not just a pad and a shrug.

3. Pain With Intimacy

Pain during sex is common. It is not normal.

When intimacy hurts, whether it’s a sharp pain, a burning sensation, or a feeling of tightness or resistance, that’s your body sending you important information. Pay attention to it. This isn’t something you have to just get used to. The pelvic floor muscles can become overactive or hypertonic for all kinds of reasons: childbirth, surgery, chronic stress, past trauma, or years of unconsciously guarding and bracing without ever learning how to release.

What makes this one particularly hard is the silence around it. So many people carry this quietly, sometimes for years, sometimes into their relationships in ways that ripple far beyond the physical. If this is part of your story, I want you to know that pelvic floor dysfunction is one of the most common and most treatable causes of painful intimacy. And healing doesn’t just involve muscles. It’s about safety, nervous system regulation, and rebuilding trust with your own body.

4. Constipation

We don’t talk about bowel health nearly enough, and that’s a shame, because bowel function is one of the clearest windows we have into pelvic floor health.

If you’re straining, feeling like you can’t fully empty, relying on laxatives more than you’d like, or noticing that your bathroom habits have become a source of daily stress, your pelvic floor may be part of the picture. The same muscles that support continence and intimacy also need to coordinate properly to allow for a full, comfortable bowel movement. When those muscles are too tight, too weak, or poorly coordinated with your breath and your abdominal wall, constipation is often the result.

This is an area where I see people make incredible progress once they understand what’s actually happening mechanically, because so much of it comes down to learning how to work with your body instead of against it. That includes things like toileting posture, breath mechanics, and retraining the coordination between your diaphragm and pelvic floor.

5. Pelvic Pressure or Heaviness

A sensation of pressure, fullness, dragging, or heaviness in the pelvis, especially one that builds throughout the day or worsens with standing, lifting, or exercise, is one of the more unsettling symptoms people bring to me. Often that’s because it can feel vague and hard to describe, and because it can be a sign of pelvic organ prolapse.

I want to be clear: prolapse is common, and common doesn’t mean it’s something you have to live with in silence or fear. A feeling of heaviness is your body telling you that the support system down there needs some help, whether that’s from muscle weakness, connective tissue changes, or how you’re managing pressure through your core during daily movement. This is deeply treatable with the right assessment and a plan that actually addresses function, not just isolated exercises done lying on a mat.

What These Signs Have in Common

None of these five symptoms exist in isolation, and that’s really the heart of how I think about this work. Pain with intimacy, constipation, back pain, pressure, and leaking can all trace back to the same underlying system: the coordination, or lack of it, between your breath, your core, your pelvic floor, and your nervous system. That’s why a whole-body, occupation-centered approach matters so much in pelvic health. It’s never just about strengthening or stretching one muscle group. It’s about understanding how these symptoms are showing up in your daily life and affecting your engagement and quality of life. They shape your ability to work out, to parent, to sit through a workday, to feel present during intimacy, to socialize, and to trust your body again.

If you recognized yourself in one or more of these signs, I want you to hear this clearly: this is common, this is real, and this is treatable. You don’t need to wait until symptoms become unbearable to seek support, and you don’t need to have all the answers before reaching out. You just need to start paying attention to what your body has been trying to tell you, and know that there are people ready to listen when you’re ready to talk.

In Collaboration With The Lifted Lotus.

Partner

How to Better Understand What Kind of Childcare Your Family Needs

A Q&A with Parent Coach Jess Baldenhofer of Mother Nurture Coaching

Choosing what type of childcare isn’t always straightforward for some families. Many families know they need support, but feel unsure about what kind of help is right — or how to make the decision with confidence.

We spoke with parent coach Jess Baldenhofer about how parents can get clear on what their family truly needs — and move forward with more ease.

Bell Family: Many families come to us knowing they need help, but unsure what kind. Why is this decision so difficult for some families?

Jess:
Because it’s not just a logistical decision — it’s emotional and relational.

Parents are often asking, “What does my child need?” but underneath that are bigger questions like what kind of parent they want to be, how much support is okay to receive, and whether someone else will do things “the right way.”

So what looks like confusion is usually a mix of pressure, guilt, and lack of clarity. Once we slow down and name those pieces, the decision becomes much clearer.

Bell Family: Where should parents start when trying to figure this out?

Jess:
Start with your actual lived experience — not an ideal.

Instead of jumping straight to “What kind of nanny do we need?”, I encourage parents to look at what’s happening in their day-to-day life. Where are you stretched too thin? What moments feel the most stressful? When are you losing patience, consistency, or connection? Those patterns give you real insight into what kind of support would actually help — rather than guessing or choosing based on what you think you should need.

Bell Family: How important is it for both parents to be aligned in this process?

Jess:
It’s essential.

If there are two parents in the home, this is a shared leadership decision. When parents aren’t aligned, it becomes very difficult to move forward clearly — and even harder to create a successful caregiver relationship later on.

I often guide parents to explore where they already agree and where they differ. That might include how they approach discipline, what emotional tone matters in the home, or what feels non-negotiable versus flexible.

You don’t have to agree on everything, but you do need enough alignment to lead your home as a team.

Bell Family: What are some key questions parents should ask themselves about the caregiver role?

Jess:
One of the most important shifts is understanding that a caregiver is not another parent — but they are also not just “coverage.”

So I help parents think clearly about both sides of that balance. What do you want to remain fully yours as parents? Where do you want to stay the primary decision-makers? And at the same time, where do you want real support, consistency, and follow-through?

Another important question is: What does it actually mean for someone to have a “way” with our child that feels good to us?

For some families, that might mean warmth and patience. For others, it might include structure, playfulness, or calm authority. Getting specific about this helps you recognize the right fit when you see it.

Bell Family: That idea of a caregiver having a “way” with your child feels important — can you say more about that?

Jess:
Yes — because this is often something parents feel but don’t fully articulate.

You’re not just hiring for skills. You’re inviting someone into your child’s emotional world.

What parents are really looking for is a sense of trust and ease — that this person can respond to their child in a way that feels aligned with their values. That might sound like: I trust how this person handles big feelings. I feel comfortable with their tone and energy. I don’t feel like I need to constantly step in or correct.

That sense of ease comes from alignment — not perfection.

Bell Family: What are some common mistakes families make when making this decision?

Jess:
A big one is focusing only on logistics — hours, duties, and schedule — without taking the time to clarify values and expectations.

Another is assuming, We’ll figure it out once someone starts. But many of the challenges families experience later — miscommunication, frustration, tension — come from not being clear upfront about how they want their child supported, what matters most in their home, and how they want to communicate.

A little more clarity at the beginning makes everything smoother down the line.

Bell Family: How can parents move from feeling stuck to actually making a decision?

Jess:
They don’t need perfect clarity — just enough clarity to move forward.

That usually comes from asking better questions, not more questions. And often, having a structured conversation with someone outside the situation helps bring that clarity much faster than trying to figure it out alone over time.

Bell Family: How do you support families in this stage?

Jess:
After a family’s initial in-take call with Bell, I offer a 30-minute Clarity Call for parents who feel unsure about what they need.

In that conversation, we look at your family dynamic, where things feel strained, and what kind of support would actually make your home feel more steady and manageable. We’re not just deciding, Do you need childcare? — we’re identifying what kind of support will truly work for your family.

From there, families are in a much stronger position to move forward with Bell Family.

Bell Family: Any final advice for families trying to figure this out?

Jess:
You don’t need to have everything figured out — but you do need to understand yourselves a bit more clearly.

When you’re clear on your values, your needs, and how you want your home to feel, the right childcare decision becomes much easier.

Bell Family Company has partnered with Jess from Mother Nurture Coaching to further support and educate our families as they start the decision-making process to hire childcare. Jess offers Bell Family Company families a complimentary 30-minute Clarity Call to help you assess your needs, gain clarity on the right level of support, and move forward with confidence.

From there, you can continue your placement process with Bell Family Company with a stronger sense of direction and a plan that truly fits your family. You can schedule your call here.