A Q&A with Parent Coach Jess Baldenhofer of Mother Nurture Coaching
Choosing what type of childcare isn’t always straightforward for some families. Many families know they need support, but feel unsure about what kind of help is right — or how to make the decision with confidence.
We spoke with parent coach Jess Baldenhofer about how parents can get clear on what their family truly needs — and move forward with more ease.
Bell Family: Many families come to us knowing they need help, but unsure what kind. Why is this decision so difficult for some families?
Jess:
Because it’s not just a logistical decision — it’s emotional and relational.
Parents are often asking, “What does my child need?” but underneath that are bigger questions like what kind of parent they want to be, how much support is okay to receive, and whether someone else will do things “the right way.”
So what looks like confusion is usually a mix of pressure, guilt, and lack of clarity. Once we slow down and name those pieces, the decision becomes much clearer.
Bell Family: Where should parents start when trying to figure this out?
Jess:
Start with your actual lived experience — not an ideal.
Instead of jumping straight to “What kind of nanny do we need?”, I encourage parents to look at what’s happening in their day-to-day life. Where are you stretched too thin? What moments feel the most stressful? When are you losing patience, consistency, or connection? Those patterns give you real insight into what kind of support would actually help — rather than guessing or choosing based on what you think you should need.
Bell Family: How important is it for both parents to be aligned in this process?
Jess:
It’s essential.
If there are two parents in the home, this is a shared leadership decision. When parents aren’t aligned, it becomes very difficult to move forward clearly — and even harder to create a successful caregiver relationship later on.
I often guide parents to explore where they already agree and where they differ. That might include how they approach discipline, what emotional tone matters in the home, or what feels non-negotiable versus flexible.
You don’t have to agree on everything, but you do need enough alignment to lead your home as a team.
Bell Family: What are some key questions parents should ask themselves about the caregiver role?
Jess:
One of the most important shifts is understanding that a caregiver is not another parent — but they are also not just “coverage.”
So I help parents think clearly about both sides of that balance. What do you want to remain fully yours as parents? Where do you want to stay the primary decision-makers? And at the same time, where do you want real support, consistency, and follow-through?
Another important question is: What does it actually mean for someone to have a “way” with our child that feels good to us?
For some families, that might mean warmth and patience. For others, it might include structure, playfulness, or calm authority. Getting specific about this helps you recognize the right fit when you see it.
Bell Family: That idea of a caregiver having a “way” with your child feels important — can you say more about that?
Jess:
Yes — because this is often something parents feel but don’t fully articulate.
You’re not just hiring for skills. You’re inviting someone into your child’s emotional world.
What parents are really looking for is a sense of trust and ease — that this person can respond to their child in a way that feels aligned with their values. That might sound like: I trust how this person handles big feelings. I feel comfortable with their tone and energy. I don’t feel like I need to constantly step in or correct.
That sense of ease comes from alignment — not perfection.
Bell Family: What are some common mistakes families make when making this decision?
Jess:
A big one is focusing only on logistics — hours, duties, and schedule — without taking the time to clarify values and expectations.
Another is assuming, We’ll figure it out once someone starts. But many of the challenges families experience later — miscommunication, frustration, tension — come from not being clear upfront about how they want their child supported, what matters most in their home, and how they want to communicate.
A little more clarity at the beginning makes everything smoother down the line.
Bell Family: How can parents move from feeling stuck to actually making a decision?
Jess:
They don’t need perfect clarity — just enough clarity to move forward.
That usually comes from asking better questions, not more questions. And often, having a structured conversation with someone outside the situation helps bring that clarity much faster than trying to figure it out alone over time.
Bell Family: How do you support families in this stage?
Jess:
After a family’s initial in-take call with Bell, I offer a 30-minute Clarity Call for parents who feel unsure about what they need.
In that conversation, we look at your family dynamic, where things feel strained, and what kind of support would actually make your home feel more steady and manageable. We’re not just deciding, Do you need childcare? — we’re identifying what kind of support will truly work for your family.
From there, families are in a much stronger position to move forward with Bell Family.
Bell Family: Any final advice for families trying to figure this out?
Jess:
You don’t need to have everything figured out — but you do need to understand yourselves a bit more clearly.
When you’re clear on your values, your needs, and how you want your home to feel, the right childcare decision becomes much easier.
Bell Family Company has partnered with Jess from Mother Nurture Coaching to further support and educate our families as they start the decision-making process to hire childcare. Jess offers Bell Family Company families a complimentary 30-minute Clarity Call to help you assess your needs, gain clarity on the right level of support, and move forward with confidence.
From there, you can continue your placement process with Bell Family Company with a stronger sense of direction and a plan that truly fits your family. You can schedule your call here.