Quite a bit has changed since my last entry a couple of months ago, my daughter Ashton turned one (shes 14 months now) and I went back to work as a teacher full time. There has been quite a bit of change around here and lots to get used to; our new daily routine, sending her to daycare, being back in the classroom and getting used to the idea of being a “working mom” and what that entails. By far the hardest part of it all is the daycare part; walking out the door of her “classroom” each morning and driving away. Ashton has never cried, not even shed one tear about being there, I on the other hand can not say the same! I truly am happy being back at work; I love being a teacher and I have the most adorable 3rd graders this year but that has not taken away from the guilt I feel when I drop her off or the urge to just scoop her back up and take her back home with me. I know that she is thriving and that she is getting much more out of her day then she would at home with me, it is just hard for me to swallow the idea that she is being taken care of by other people all day long or that she will do things for the first time and I will miss them. Perfect example, I am 99% sure that her first steps were taken at daycare, I will never really know for sure and my husband swears we witnessed her first steps in our living room. I also do not know if it will get easier, I feel pretty confident saying that I know it won’t, especially down the road when our family grows, so for now I will just keep taking it one day at a time!
- Sam Heller is a Sitter2Mom & 3rd grade teacher living in Westchester NY with her adorable daughter and hubby.