I was born in the late 70’s and recall family member’s saying, “Children should be seen and not heard” or “…because I said so” or my all-time favorite, spoken in a whisper through clenched teeth, “When I get you home…” Thirty plus years later, parenting protocol and limit setting has changed drastically. Punitive punishment is unacceptable in mainstream society, and words like: “NO” became taboo when speaking to children. However, setting limits and boundaries for our youth is important for their growth and development as they move through childhood and adolescents into adults.

Our world has changed in many ways since I was a kid, and so have the parenting styles and approaches. In our society we have limits, we have stop signs, red lights, late fees, sorry we are closed signs etc. As parents and caregivers, it is our job to teach children about so many things and often times we have to say NO! Safety is always the most important limit we have to distinguish to young children, but we also show our kids how to have nice manners, good listening ears, inside voices, kind words, gentle hands, regular bedtime and screen limits.

Bottom line:  Children will push the limits and disregard your boundaries! It is their job to do this! It’s actually a good sign and shows they are seeking independence and understanding how they relate to their external environments.

Stay calm, consistent and creative…  There are many creative ways to say no or distract unwanted behavior. The most important piece is to be consistent. If you say “NO”- It has to mean “NO”… (no matter what), no matter how much crying, screaming or tantrums ensue… Keep your word. If not, you are only reinforcing that when you (adult, grown-up, parent, teacher, or caregiver) say no… it really means to the child: Show me enough negative reaction and wear me down (preferably in public) until I say YES…! Don’t fall for the trap! Just say No in a calm and confident voice, mean it and move on. Another great trick I learned is to really keep the adult emotion neutral. Children are very emotional and when parents or grown-ups react with an emotional response it feeds into the child’s tantrum and upset. Find your inner calm voice and be matter of fact!

 Example: Creative way to set a limit, without actually using the word NO. Parents/Caregivers- Make good eye contact and get on your child’s level.

Child: “Mom, can I have a play date with Jack, today?”

Mom: “Oh, You want to have a play date with Jack?” (when you mimic or mirror your child’s request, they feel heard- Empathy)

Child: “Yes!”

Mom: “Ok, I think a play date with Jack sounds fun. Let’s talk to his mom and see when we can arrange it.” (Shows you care and want to arrange it)

Child: “But I want to have a play date TODAY!!!! PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE.”

Mom: “Oh, Sweetie, I know you want to, but we have to plan a play date. We already have plans, but why don’t I send a message to Jack’s mom and we will see when we can do it this week. Who did you sit next to at lunch today” (Change the subject)

Child: “I sat next to Sarah.”

(Now if the child protested and starts to react negatively, the parent’s job is to stay calm and remind the child that that response is unacceptable and if he wants a play date with his friend he has to have… nice manner etc.)

 

For more information on saying no or setting limits, please feel free to email Ali with questions at [email protected]!

Happiest Place on Earth.  60th Diamond Celebration.  Largest Measles Epidemic in U.S.A.

When I first arrived in Santa Monica with my 8 month old son in January, I resolved that the measles outbreak would deter ANY possibility of visiting the happiest place on earth.  Friends supported my choice claiming most children have their first recollection of visiting and enjoying the park at 4 years old.  A vaccination shot, multiple east coast friends making the pilgrimage, and a dormant need to bring joy to my son dissipated my resolve five months later.

Kermit can officially cross off Disneyland from his bucket list.

To ensure a positive experience, I pulled an all nighter watching videos online and reading guidebooks to meticulously plan our visit.  Despite an aggressive plan, I lowered any expectation of completing the list and possessed a willingness to abort mission at any sign of a meltdown.  Amazingly, we completed 95% of our list without incident.

We had the BEST time.

We arrived at the parking lot an hour before its opening, took the tram to the gate, crossed security checkpoint and arrived in front of the ticket counter a half hour before the park opening upon the advice from the authors of “The Unofficial Guide to Disneyland”.   Fifteen minutes later, we walked down Main Street and stood in front of Cinderella’s Castle.  As one of the park attendants administered the countdown for the official opening, goosebumps rose on my arms and an entangled knot of excitement grew in my stomach.  Two little children holding hands RAN through the castle doors a few hundred feet before the general public.  I cried.

Kermit’s magical experience was sparked.

We made a beeline to Fantasyland and were able to ride 7 attractions within the first 90 minutes before the crowd arrived:  Dumbo, Alice in Wonderland, King Arthur Carousel, Pinocchio, Casey Jr. Circus Train, Mad Tea Party, and Storybook Land Canal Boats in that order.  Then Kermit guzzled his milk and napped in his stroller while we walked down Main Street and visited Mickey’s Toontown to see Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Pluto, and Goofy.  It’s a Small World and Finding Nemo rounded out our adventure in the east side of the park.  After another feeding and during a nap, my husband and I enjoyed lunch in Frontierland.  By this time, the park was really crowded.  When Kermit awoke, we went to New Orleans Square to see the Haunted Mansion and ride Pirates of the Caribbean.  We took a break in Critter Country to visit Tigger, Eeyore, and Winnie the Pooh and ended the day with a ride on Mark Twain’s riverboat in Frontierland.

Obviously we did not experience the most popular attractions such as Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, and Matterhorn Bobsleds due to height restrictions.  We were also unable to view the Enchanted Tiki Room or Disneyland’s Story presenting Mr. Lincoln due to Kermit’s fatigue.  We missed Peter Pan’s Adventure and the Disneyland Railroad because they were not operational.  This did not mitigate our enjoyment.  Overall, I was genuinely surprised how accessible Disneyland is for infants.

Disney truly understands the intricacies of fulfilling their visitors’ needs at every age and has thoughtfully provided the necessary amenities to guarantee a return visit.  A baby center centrally located on Main Street and outfitted with a feeding & diapering station, a nursing and pumping room, and infant/ toddler provisions like diapers, formula, bottles, and baby sunscreen are available at a nominal price.  I visited the baby center three times and each time, it was at full capacity.  The Lost and Found unit is also extraordinarily efficient.  One of my friends told me she lost her purse on two separate occasions which was returned to her without anything missing.  Another visitor lost his hat while on a ride and when found, was mailed to his home.  Strollers are available for rental and stroller parking is abundant throughout the park.  Fast passes alleviate the mental stress of waiting in queue and photo passes capture a momento of the whole family.  I read that VIP escorts are available by the hour.

Added measures for improvements keep the park current yet retention of the mainstays spark nostalgia.  For example, one of my favorite childhood memories is holding a mouse-eared shaped balloon while watching the parade on Main Street.  Nearly four decades later, my son was able to enjoy the same experience.  The picture of his very first adventure ride on Dumbo mirrors my own childhood snapshot.  But unlike me who rode 10,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Kermit experienced Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage.  I teared up as I watched him enjoy the updated wonder of “It’s A Small World” while I recollected my own memory of the voyage.

We will take Kermit to Disneyland this week before we return to New York.  It really is the happiest place on earth.

With the end of school approaching fast, it’s hard to find time to cook (or have sit down meals for that matter). One reason why we love Mel’s Kitchen Cafe blog so much is because she’s a mom of 5; simply put, she gets it.

The blog focuses on creating great family-friendly recipes, but also includes some decadent treats and recipes worthy of family parties or visits from the in-laws.

Check out some of our favorite recipes from this mommy blogger such as this simple after school snack, peanut butter caramel chocolate chip cookie bars for dessert, and easy dinner ideas like stuffed shells, grilled greek chicken kebabs, and more! Remember, don’t be scared off by one ingredient your little one doesn’t like; it’s easy to tweak recipes to suit little taste buds or picky eaters.

Have another favorite kid-friendly recipe blog? Share with us in the comments below!

Finding the right nanny for your family is essential! We work with both caregivers and nannies to pair up the best match for both our member families and caregivers. However, maintaining a great nanny-client relationship is equally important.

Lindsay sat down with Leigh Goldman, a Gymtime Mom, to share some strategies.

Some of the key points are:

1. Outline expectations
2. Clarify your policy on days off
3. Spread good karma
4. Talk the talk
5. Avoid being over friendly
6. Exercise common courtesy

Check out the full article here to learn more about each of those bullet points and get the full run-down on Lindsay’s nanny know-how!

Bell Family Company is excited to announce a new partnership with Pager!

Pager is an on-demand medical services company that offers doctors visits to your NYC home, hotel, or office. Pager doctors can evaluate patients for illness, injury, minor skin conditions, school and employment physicals, and much more.

We love the concept of Pager’s on-demand model, and we’ve seen how effective it is for families in need of services! Pager says, “Waiting rooms aren’t kid-friendly. Pager sends board-certified doctors to you within two hours — so your child doesn’t have to leave home when sick or injured.”

Between BFC and Pager, all of your on-demand family needs are covered!