Tag Archives: WWW

Working Women Wednesday: Balance

One of the great questions of women considering becoming working moms is: “How will I balance everything and still be a good mom?” Luckily, there are plenty of tips and tricks to balance work and home life; plus, having a career and a family is perfectly normal! Your kids will turn out great despite a few hours away from them, and will still have a great role model.

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  • Accept that there will be tradeoffs: taking on another job in addition to being a mother pretty much mandates that there will be tradeoffs. Some nights may be pizza or takeout, and you may even have to buy store-bought playdough instead of making your own. Remembering why you agreed to work in the first place and why you are making those sacrifices can make this better and avoid feeling guilty.
  • Schedule Yourself: Similar to how you carve out the time you need for work to be successful at your job, set aside family time, me time, or couple time. Putting things on your calendar will help to make sure you have that time reserved and don’t feel like you are missing out on family time.
  • Be Present: When you come home, turn your devices off or at least put them aside. Make time for family time either during dinner or during a TV show that you all enjoy watching together. You will have plenty of time to catch up on work and answer emails when the kids go to bed, in the mornings, or during the day.
  • Accept help: As much as we all want to be, nobody is supermom. Don’t feel bad about accepting your parents offer to take the kids one day a week, or your husbands offer to pick up groceries.

Most of all, remember that if working is best for your family and self, then don’t feel guilty!

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Working Woman- Setting Boundaries In Service of Your Well-Being

I’ve been a caregiver the majority of my adult life. Then went on to get my degree in Social Work, a field that lends itself to caring for others. The most challenging part of being a caregiver is remembering to care for yourself. One of the reasons I am drawn to this type of work is because I genuinely like to help others and make their lives easier/ find solutions and resources. I feel good when I am in service of others; I mean I feel worthy and accomplished and loved. It feels good, but the hard part is knowing when to have boundaries and limits.

I have learned that when I am not taking care of my own well-being, I am more likely to be irritable, frustrated, burnt out and get sick. It’s essential for caregivers to take care of their well-being and enjoy the down time they have. Especially in NYC where the majority of full-time nannies work 50-60/hrs per week, plus an hour commute both ways.

Self-care is personal and for me it includes, yoga, reading, pampering myself, spending time with friends and being outdoors. In general, we all know how important it is to get  enough sleep, exercise and eat healthy. I know that when I am organized and follow a schedule, I am better at keeping the commitment to my well-being. I was recently asked by a SAHM if nannies really need two days off a week. I reminded the SAHM that the Mon-Fri schedule was already 72 hours a week and working 24/7 could easily lead to burnout! She paused, said, “Well I don’t know, I’m a new mom.” I thought, You’re a first time mom, not a first time human being. But instead, I said, “Mrs. So & So, do you need 2 days off a week?”

Setting limits

  1. Calendar- schedule self-care time
  2. Ask for help
  3. Socialize
  4. Be professional in the work place. Act like a professional & be treated like a professional.
  5. Be honest
  6. Have open communication
  7. Empathy goes BOTH ways
  8. Respect the agreement, be flexible and fair.
  9. Spread harmony
  10. Teach, accept and listen

 

Happy Families=Happy Nannies

Ali Sheppard, MSW
Nanny Placement Coordinator 

Guilt: Working Women

Over the past month I have met a number of different women, all with fascinating backgrounds, for coffee to talk business, share ideas, seek mentorship, and discuss triumphs and struggles. 

Despite the different stages in life each are in (20s, 30s, 40s & 50s) there seems to be the general over harking struggle with guilt.

I don’t have enough time for my friends, boyfriend, partner, fiancé, or husband.

I never feel like I get ahead.

Me time does not exist.

Taking some time out for some "me time" with my sister
Taking some time out for some “me time” with my sister

I work too much. I am home too little.

I should go to the gym more.

I didn’t eat all day or I have been over eating.

I don’t get to see my family enough, I can’t keep up with everyone’s birthdays, celebrations, etc.

Even though this sounds like complaining, it was actually a relief to hear that all these women are feeling the same types of pressure.

Sheryl Sandberg wrote a lot about guilt in her book Lean In. Even as successful as she is now, she still struggles with balancing work with personal, while trying not to feel bad all the time.

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I think making small adjustments such as no phones at the table with your fiancé or setting call dates with mom every other day is the step in the right direction of balance, but I am still trying to figure out what works for me.

Lindsay Bell is the President of Bell Family Company